Feline & Canine JOKES

40 of our best Cat and Dog jokes that will make you laugh or cringe! 

• What kind of dog loves indulging in a daily bath?
  — A shampoo-dle.
  

 

• What’s a cat’s favorite movie?
  — The Sound of Mew-sic.

 

• Why did the dog sit in the shade?
  — Because it didn’t want to be a hot dog!
  

 

• Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?
  — Too many cheetahs.

 

• What do you call a dog magician?
  — A labracadabrador.

 

• What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school?
  — Hiss-tory.

 

• Why was the dog a great musician?
  — Because he had perfect pooch!
  

 

• Why did the cat join Instagram?
  — To get more pawsitive attention.
  

 

• What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza?
  — Pupperoni.

 

• What do you call a cat that lives at the beach?
  — Sandy Claws.

 

• What do you call a dog that designs buildings?
  — A bark-itect.
  

 

• Why was the cat such a great singer?
  — It had purr-fect pitch.

 

• Why did the dog get in trouble at school?
  — He couldn’t stop ruff-housing.
  

 

• What kind of sports car does a cat drive?
  — A Fur-rari.

 

• How do dog catchers get paid?
  — By the pound!
  

 

• What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?
  — Mice cream.
  

 

• What did the dog say to the tree?
  — “Bark!”
  

 

• How do you know a cat is agitated?
  — It’s having a hissy fit.
  

 

• What kind of dog does Dracula have?
  — A bloodhound.
  

 

• What did the cat say when it lost all its money?
  — I’m paw!
  

 

• What do you call a dog that’s a scientist?
  — A lab!
  

 

• What do cats wear to bed?
  — Paw-jamas.
  

 

• What’s a dog’s favorite instrument?
  — The trom-bone.

 

• Why did the cat run from the tree?
  — It was afraid of the bark!

 

• Why did the dog join a band?
  — Because he had the best bark-up vocals.

 

• What’s a cat’s favorite type of music?
  — Meow-tal.
  

 

• What do you call a dog that can tell time?
  — A watchdog.
  

 

• Why are cats bad at making decisions?
  — They always paws and think about it.

 

• What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
  — “Ruff!”
  

 

• How do cats end a fight?
  — They hiss and make up.
  

 

• Why don’t dogs make good dancers?
  — Because they have two left feet.
  

 

• What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
  — A sour puss.

 

• What did one dog say to the other after a long walk?
  — “Paws for a minute, I need a break.”
  

 

• Why did the cat get kicked out of school?
  — It kept hissing during class!
  

 

• What’s a dog’s favorite city?
  — New Yorkie!

 

• What’s a cat’s favorite color?
  — Purr-ple.
  

 

• Why was the dog a great comedian?
  — Because his timing was paw-some.

 

• Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
  — It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.